Self-Care for Parents is not Selfish, It’s Essential

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably put yourself last on the list while juggling the demands of teaching your kids, managing the house, and making sure everyone’s needs are met. It’s tough, right? But here’s the thing I’ve realized: self-care is not selfish. Actually, it’s essential if we want to serve our families effectively and with a full heart.

The Struggle with Self-Care

Let me tell you, there was a time when I felt super guilty for even thinking about taking a moment for myself. Any time away from my kids or household chores felt like I was dropping the ball. But this guilt trip led to burnout and frustration, and I wasn’t the mom I wanted to be.

Then, during a particularly challenging period, it hit me: I couldn’t pour from an empty cup. I needed to take care of myself to be the best version of me for my family.

Shifting the Mindset: Self-Care as a Necessity

Self-care isn’t about indulging yourself; it’s about preserving yourself. When we take care of ourselves, we’re better equipped to take care of others. It’s like what they say during those airplane safety briefings: put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Makes sense, right?

By ensuring that we are mentally, emotionally, and physically well, we can approach our roles as educators and caregivers with renewed energy and a positive mindset. This shift in perspective was a game-changer for me. I began to see self-care not as a luxury but as a necessary part of my routine.

Personal and Vulnerable Moments

Here are a few personal practices that have helped me:

1. Morning Dhikr and Quran Recitation: I carve out a few minutes each morning for dhikr and Quran recitation. This quiet time helps me connect with Allah swt and sets a peaceful tone for the day. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Keep your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah" (Tirmidhi). It’s such a grounding practice.

2.Nature Walks and Reflecting on Allah’s Creation: Spending time in nature is my go-to way to recharge. I take my kids for walks in the park, and we reflect on the beauty of Allah’s creation. We recite adhkar together and thank Allah for the blessings around us.. It’s amazing what a little fresh air and gratitude can do!

3. Connecting with Other Muslim Moms: Building a support network of fellow Muslim homeschooling moms has been a lifesaver. But I’ll be honest—finding local connections has been hard for me. There isn’t a strong community of Muslim moms in my area that I can find. So, I’ve turned to online communities, and let me tell you, they’ve been wonderful. These online friends have become a lifeline, offering encouragement and shared experiences.

4. Setting Boundaries and Simplifying Activities: Learning to say no and setting boundaries was tough but necessary. Instead of cramming our day with activities, I focus on quality over quantity. This not only reduces stress but also makes our interactions more meaningful and intentional.

The Impact on Homeschooling

When I started prioritizing self-care, I noticed a huge change in my homeschooling approach. I became more patient, creative, and engaged with my kids. They responded positively to my renewed energy and enthusiasm.

My children began to understand the importance of self-care by watching me. It became a teachable moment about looking after oneself to better serve others—a valuable lesson I hope they carry into their own lives.

I encourage you to embrace self-care without guilt. Your well-being is the foundation upon which your family thrives. By taking care of yourself, you’re not only enhancing your own life but also enriching the lives of those you love and care for.

Remember, self-care is not selfish. It’s an act of self-preservation and love that allows us to fulfill our roles with grace and joy. Let’s make self-care our top priority, knowing that by doing so, we are better equipped to serve our families and communities with a full heart and a peaceful mind.

Incorporate dhikr, recite Quran, and take moments to appreciate the beauty of Allah’s creation. Simplify your day, and don’t feel pressured to fill every moment with activities. Sometimes, the most meaningful learning happens in the simplest of moments.

In the end, nurturing yourself is the greatest gift you can give to your family. So take that time, make it personal, and embrace the vulnerability that comes with acknowledging your own needs. You deserve it, and so does your family.

Take care, my friend, Salaam!

Captured by Jenny Rosenberg at our Wild + Free event